when u have no one, no one can hurt you

fate or choice

do we create our own lives?

how much in our lives or of our lives is predetermined?

how much power do we have over our destiny?

how do i discover the "real me?"

how do i live a life of clarity?

how do i view EACH of my relationships as a form of pleasure and beauty?

how do i let myself feel all my emotions without fear?

how do i let go of the pain of my past?

i have so much trouble grasping the essence of time, or even more; the meaning of life. how are we supposed to be genuinely happy knowing that NOTHING is forever. our wealth, health, homes, jobs, daily routines, outings, vacations, friendships, coffee dates, family dinners...all of it...it's only temperary. however much OURS it feels, it isn't ours for too long. the good, the bad, and the ugly...it's all on loan...we give it up when we die. we're only borrowing our lives and EVERYTHING in it. are there things and people that we do take with us when we leave this world? if nothing is really OURS then why do we spend ANY time acquiring or perfecting anything? why do we care if our lawns are overgrown or what type of car we drive? are our daily runs to the gym and obsessive healthy eating really worth it? our body isn't our OWN either. our children; do we bring them into this world for ourselves or themselves; along with the extreme joy and happiness of a new-birth, do we consider the pain that more lives in our lives also brings? more deaths to mourn, more imperfections to accept?
what is it all REALLY about?